Cease Thy Merry Making My Lady and Lord Gray, You Love Sick Fools...

Fore the cloaked eyes that doth wander aimlessly upon the net hath once again discovered your wondrous hiding spot, The Royal Gardens of Nice Ice, that also be knownst as "The Nice Ice doth com".  To be found upon the Isle of Bainbridge and glorified in the US Kingdom of Washington a mere ferry ride cross from the Shire Seattle.  I pray thee be silent till they be gone or they may hear thee and try to join thy merry making!  Fie me the visitors are upon us!

Hazaaa!  Good visitors... Go soft good gentles, for I, Sir Henry the Noble Gatekeeper and Protector of the good people who play within these castle walls, shall be thy guide this day...

Be ye friend and true of heart, thou shalt be announced to my Lady and Lord Gray, but be ye black of heart and sent to spy, prepare thyself to dance swords with I, Sir Henry. If thy quest be true I welcome thee. If it be so, then let us begin!

My Lady and Lord Gray (I presenth my good lady first, for she doth maketh mine wage) are in attendance of the Royal Court to re-maketh the Royal Crown, that it may match the beauty of the head that it doth lay upon.  God save the Queen!

I'faith that if The Royal Nice Ice Merchants were here, they'd invite thee to feast thine eyes upon the many beauteous bobbles contained within the castle walls and entertain thee with tales of betrothal, bribery, and battles amongst the heartstruck.

Hence in their absence, I shall narrate for thee such tales as I have witnessed wildst I rode my wild steed "Avenger!" and guarded strong the royal land of Nice Ice.

Behold The Beauteous Viewing Chamber Of Old!

Many a good bachelor and knight met their fate here in this private viewing chamber before all good things were moved to Our Royal Nice Ice Store and many a fair maiden has arose victoriously bequeathed with a carat or so.  Others though dazzled bought nothing and today sing their Bachelor's Tale of Woe.

As Royal Nice Ice Merchants & Leechcrafters Extraordinaire, My Lady and Lord hath offered both internet and in-store services, with savings unmatched by few retail merchants or craftsman throughout the land, since the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and seventy nine (1979).

Many a merry insurance company hath called upon our Royal Nice Ice Replacement Services to rescue grievous, bemaddened maidens who hath lost their beloved rocks to lowly, infectious knaves (in tights) who've stolen them in the night.

Such example I doth giveth, so take note and giveth praise, fore 'twas not long ago that a simpleton saved four $1K bags of the Kings Gold. A noble woman had lost the beauteous rock from her wedding ring and was onion eyed with grief.  She claimithed the loss and their very merry insurance company referred them to us.  Alas, she had already received a most impressive quote from a prestigious local leechcrafter who sought to bloodlet her most severely.  I do fear madness would have befell that noble woman had she taken such a letting... I sayeth "fare ye well o'leechcrafter knave!" fore we provided them with the diamond of their dreams for a mere pittance of what was originally demanded of them. Our diamond had a better shape, better cut ratio, was three color grades better, and methinks our chandeliers were prettier!  We doth chose, being Royal Nice Ice Leechcrafters, to only "let her a little where he would have let her a lot..." Believeth!

After eighteen years of service (1978 in the year of our lord) to the court, The Royal Nice Ice Merchants guided by the wisdom of Merlin the Magician pioneered a new magical world, thy web of cyberspace!  Be it known to all that "Nice Ice doth com" upon thy web was created in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and seventy seven (1997) so that we may serve thee near and far with great delight!

Such magic was created so that the Kings and Queens and Members of Court may vieweth upon their magic boxes of beauteous adornments many lands away… So that we may serve thee faster, feed thy hungered brains with truths of diamond magic, and showeth the Royal Nice Ice of GIA & AGS Ideal 0 pedigree at prices so wondrous that even the simpletons may save their shillings and spend them wantonly hither and thither in yonder leaping houses!

 

Heigh-Ho!  Sir Henry’s Royal Denzel Hippocampus "Avenger!"

In the days of yore, upon my trustworthy Denzel steed "Avenger" I, Sir Henry, rode swiftly to deliver beauteous adornments to the bobble headed merchants of the shire.  Many of whom, by the way, practiced leechcraft and bloodletting... Ah yes, I believe that I might have touched upon this previously, alas I wander... 'tis important to our history however!  Some of the merchants of the land would practice roguish tricks upon the public moonlings (yes, they be the simpletons) and even upon ourselves... For sooth, such treachery!  And thus because of their poisonous practices, My Lady and Lord Gray did free themselves from those lowly knaves and turned thine eyes upon the good people of the land for they doth deserve to buy "ice at a nice price" direct from my Lady & Lord without a middleman to profit from further between.  Thus the reason you may this day wander the halls of the castle "Nice Ice doth com" to be announced and presented to the My Lady and Lord Gray who live to find for you the diamond of your dreams!

 

 

 

 

Behold the Beauteous Royal Store of Roseburg!

Oh! Pray pardon! I doth forgot thy virgin eyes have been cast upon our world and in all my excitement and haste failed to explain all to thee properly… Be it known that life is a journey and the path of ones way can change from one day to the next.  Castle Nice Ice was first built in the Shire of Fair Oaks in the good land of California and was moved to the Shire of Roseburg, Oregon in October of 2000 to escape the tyranny of a pending internet tax that would have been imposed only upon merchants operating upon the net from California.  My Lord & Lady Gray enjoyed life in Roseburg for several years until Lady Gray passed from this life to the next.  After a span of two years and much gnashing of teeth, the call of the Ocean Pacific did fall upon the ears of Lord Gray with the force of a siren 'til he did heed its beckon and moved to the Isle of Bainbridge 'cross from the City of Seattle in Washington.  Though the retail castle in Roseburg is no more, I remain quite fond of it and feel the urge to share here with you the images captured of it by Merlin's magic box that you may know where we've been and have better ideas of where we may go...

 

 

 

As you may see, our Royal Front Doors were flanked by heavenly bowing angles that presenteth beauteous & most sumptuous bobbles for viewing upon thy approach.  Once through the Royal Doors of Treasures by RJ / Nice Ice, where the descendents of "Avenger" whinny in excitement to celebrate thy arrival, thou shalt walk up the cobble stone ramp and placeth your calling card upon the "Royal Card Holder" in order to be announced to My Lord & Lady Gray.  Speaking of which, there is to be a new Lady Gray of Royal Blood!  Be it my pleasure to announce the engagement of Lord Gray & Lady Valerie of the Royal Dutch Van Kol lineage - a brilliantly striking young goddess who does my Lord Gray much good!  Be it a sight for sore eyes when they wander hand-in-hand with much laughter and joy upon the beaches found here on the Isle of Bainbridge.  Hazzah I say, Hazzah!  May we raise our swords in their glory and praise of this day!

Behold! The Royal Display area, where carved column cases are filled to the brim with jewels from far away lands, rare and exotic pieces hand made by Lord Tacori, Sir D. Vatche, and King Viachi!  AGS Ideal 0 cut diamonds and GIA-0XX Ideal cut diamonds sparkleth like stars throughout the store between the platinum designer pieces and gold wedding sets.  M'thinks you can see one of our design computers that adorns the top of our lion tables... many a CAD design hath been created in front of our good peoples eyes. But let us away to the middle area where all good slaves doth worketh. We shall sneeketh past the "slave only" area guarded by the four cornered griffins...

Fie me!  The slaves begone again!   Those flibbertigibbeting beetle headed surfs!  They hath snuck off and left the telephones unattended once more. I shall flog them mercilessly and tell thee to take more weight upon the value of thy mythical voice mail chamber controlled by Merlin's magic for the surfs doth follow the sun like rousting hens with nary a thought to time zones. However be not heavy in heart for I shall capture them on our "secret image taker" so that you may feast your eyes upon the support slaves of "Nice Ice doth com". By my troth, and the stars above, slave #1 be hiding again...and my Good Lord Gray has set loose to find him.  God speed to My Lord and may God help slave #1!

 

 

It must be the time to serve as mine eyes doth spy Lord Gray scribing to most learned folk on the net wildst the slaves and jewelry elves doth worketh behind the stained glass doors (most noisily this fine day)... where many-a important secret is used to make and carve wondrous bobbles for fair maidens awaiting for thy promised pieces and made ready to take travel to their anxious new owners. 

But Hark!  We've diamonds for sale all shapes and all sizes sourced from all the world for thy pleasure... And for your peace of mind, Lord Sarin the brother of Merlin, has created a wondrous magic box that doth measure the proportions of a diamond by means of a mysterious red beam of light so that ye' may know the angle of thy dangle!  My Lady & Lord Gray doth refuse me to play with such a box, as they use it to prove the qualitis of the cut of the Queen's Royal Rocks and they have in their heads thoughts that I might break it, but go soft that we may peekith anyway!  Fie me, such heinous box has causeth my masters to turn away many an "ideal stone" as not true and of  weak ideals by their standards! Such a wondrous sticky papyrus tells the tale for all to see and my masters sayeth they prefer to leave the lowly stones to the lesser leechcrafters that doth "let" a lot...

 

 

The proven qualities of our diamonds as determined by Lord Sarin’s magic box, is further recorded by such reputable laboratories as the Gemological Institute of America (GIA), American Gem Society (AGS), Zenhokyo Laboratories of Japan, and HRD of Belgium.  But alas, such "certification" without Sarin’s magic papyrus is only for the lean-witted and soft of heart fore only by viewing the papyrus may you come to comprehend the quality of craftsmanship.  Wandering the corridors of this castle I have learned as will you that the measurements listed on the lab reports are but mere averages based upon sections of the whole, thus I heed you beware - be that a diamond is laboratory graded doth not necessarily mean that it will be beauteous and bright shining... Sarin’s magic paper is necessary to tell the tale full. 

Other such wondrous boxes of magic that proveth the rainbow and fire from the Royal Nice Ice diamonds be named "Brilliance Scope," "SymmetriScope" and ye ole "analysis of ray trace." To help claimeth thy royal rock if it ever be stolen or switched we can assist you with Laser Inscription upon thy rock to mark thy bobble just so... and we dabble in what sonme would call "the dark arts of 3D CAD design" and "C&C Milling" by which we might design a better royal holder for your bobble. These are but a few of our glorious services that we offer to the good people that we doth serve.

Note Thee Well My Friends of Old...

For the strong and noble of heart, with time that fleeteth away as you wander upon the paths of your brilliant quest of love eternal… all such magical reports (Sarin’s qualitis of angles and facets, scopes of fire, scans of brilliance, effects of the heart, tracings of light beams, etc.) you'll findeth along with several clarity photographs on every Nice Ice diamond in the Private Reserve on their diamond's detail page to aid thy quest of love and betrothal.  Thus My Lady & Lord Gray do all that they can to assist your safe journey!

Thus be not melancholy if all of the information found herein seems overwhelming, we've taken many a beetle-headed half-wit and turned them into rudesby rascals able to grade diamonds for themselves and be merry men in tights (with loupes) deciphering diamond grading certificates to the very same leechcrafters who sought to bloodlet them mercilessly before.  For sooth be well and with much folly fore upon this website, thou shall find all that's needed to make an educated decision!

As we part ways this glorious day... Remember.
Malice not thy enemies, nor glutton thyself on revenge, but take note, a simpleton in the hand is better than a smellfest, leechcrafter in the bush!
-- Sir Henry the Wise...